Yeah, so I was fine. I was fine when I got the message that he was being sent away. I just said “Ok.” He asked “What will happen to us then?” I said “I don’t know.” And I was fine. I made dinner, he came over, we had a few beers, listened to our old songs, the song we first we kissed to, stuff like that, we laughed. It was great. He spent the night. He kissed me goodbye in the morning and left. And I was fine. I have no idea if or when we’ll meet again. And I was fine.
Then the weather turns. It’s blowing up to a storm. Since the start of February we have had no boats to or from the island, apart from the car ferry which ends up in nowhere so it’s of little help. We have no boats. I can’t get off the island unless I end up stranded in some godforsaken place where there’s nothing but a waiting room. I want to go somewhere but I can’t. I want to see people but I can’t. And then I start thinking… What if this really is it? Me and B? We’ve been through some shit together, and man, if we pull through, then we have build one heck of a solid foundation. And the realization starts kicking in… I have no idea where we are headed. I have no idea when I’ll see him again. I have no idea how we’ll work things out. I mean, we have enough trouble as it is, now we’re physically separated for god knows how long. What if it really does matter?
Either way, I need to get away for a while, breathe a little bit. I need to see some friends, actually have the opportunity to be spontaneous now and then, I just need to figure out how the heck to get off the island.
Photo from here.