I know we promised all sorts of fun things.  I know I still need to do a drawing for a pair of jeans which are waiting anxiously for new ownership.  We just haven’t felt up to snuff.  Agathe and I often find that our lives run in complete parallel.  When one of us is feeling on the up and up, we’re both so high the energy radiates through the screen like electricity.  But when we’re down oh boy do we get down.  And sometimes the blows just come one after another.  Right now we don’t even speak every day like we did during the summer.  Sometimes it’s hard for two people who are down to cheer each other.  My Mum pointed out today that my appetite is dwindling, which is something she pointed out when my Grammy was ill. Suddenly it all made sense.  I also currently have this inability to get anything done besides finishing books (even the simplest tasks become this extraordinary thing in my mind).  There’s a restlessness where I toss and turn every night (thank goodness I don’t work normal hours, otherwise I’d be screwed).  Looks like in the new year I will be treating myself … to a good shrink.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’m not feeling the Christmas spirit at all this year.  My family decided that there would finally be no presents for adults (which takes a lot of stress off of everyone).  My niece and nephew aren’t really getting a whole lot either, which is fine … they are too young to notice or care.

I think what we all want most for Christmas is peace and safety to all people.  But especially those who look like us and are currently bearing the weight of a country who simply doesn’t value our lives.

–  Aja

(Image by Carson Ellis).


One thought on “Apologies

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