“We all lie to ourselves! Duh!”
When I said it, my words hung in the air like angry daggers trying to figure out exactly where their target was. I had been arguing with a loved one about a topic we just can’t seem to get around. It comes back to haunt our relationship every so often always leaving a black smear in it’s wake. It is in these moments, where our guard is down and our filters are lost that we let the truth out. Sometimes in tempestuous ways. I had been speaking about myself of course. But it really got me thinking about the various things we lie to ourselves about. Because you’re trying to convince the world so why not try convincing yourself too? Here’s some whoppers I’ve told lately:
– I’m okay with the idea of dying alone. (Bullshit. It’s terrifying to me. I’m accepting of the idea but really, who the f*ck wants to really be alone for the rest of their life? If you’re in a relationship but you legitimately think I’m buying that “oh you’re so lucky” nonsense, well you are lying to yourself too.)
– No, no I don’t hate that person. (I dislike them. “Hate” is a strong word which my niece reminds me regularly not to use.)
– Sure you can sit with us. (You can sit with my friends and I. Of course. Because we’re nice people. But you weren’t in high school and I haven’t forgotten that.)
– Thank you for that information. (Thank you for wasting my time telling me about something I already understood.)
I’m okay with these little lies. Sometimes it saves us a world of uncomfortable explanation.
(Beautiful line drawing by Stasia Burrington)