Do you feel better? I hope you do! I felt like perhaps you needed to write that all out, not just for this blog but for yourself as well. When I came looking for you (by the way dear audience, it was as simple as a short “Are you okay?” message on facebook), it wasn’t because I missed the blog. I certainly read it and yeah, I bought that H&M maxi dress because you had it and I totally jacked your styling too (guilty). It was a part of my routine, as was reading tons of magazines at the time. But I knew I could live without it (as I do with magazines now . . . I suppose I just outgrew most of them but I’ll still nose around Harper’s Bazaar). But mostly I knew I could live without it because of everything you said there. The blogging game was starting to get real . . . and really fake. I kept getting comments on mine of “link for link” which made me want to pull my hair out. I don’t want to link to a blog unless I genuinely like it. It wasn’t a popularity contest, for me it was just a way to open some doors and connect with people who really loved fashion as much as I do.
I think I went looking for you for a couple of reasons. Mostly because I always knew we would be friends. I didn’t even read your blog every day but I always suspected you had a wry sense of filthy humor and boy I was right! But also because I admired you for walking away. Your blog was blowing up and I realized you might have been getting some hefty checks in the mail every month from your advertising and you up and left it because it wasn’t bringing you happiness. That is so admirable that you should genuinely be proud of yourself. It takes an incredibly grounded person to leave the money on the table. We could all see where blogging was headed and you just decided to bow out. It’s like ending a tv series before it burns out in a terrible way.
Also I realized that if you walked away from it all in such an abrupt manner, things must have been kind of in the shitter and instead of being a doting reader, I just decided to reach out as a friend. And somehow five years later, here we are! Our anniversary is Oct 7th. Sofia and I are having a ten year anniversary party of friendship next February (because we’re freaks). You and I should celebrate too!
I remember I “met” you right at the end of that gritty phase. You were not even making any sort of effort. You were wearing those nasty slide on plastic sandals that teenage boys wear and your hair was at this strange in between phase. In short, you were a hot mess and all I could think was,
“Oh my god, I love her.”
(Images by talented artist Barbara Cole)