I Went and Sat Down by the Sea

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I am so sorry things didn’t work out. Dating really sucks sometimes. You and I both can attest for that. And then there’s what to do next… Get back up on the horse or leave it alone? I’ve chosen the latter for quite some time. It’s just too difficult, and honestly, I’ve been enjoying my own company so much that I haven’t really needed a man to mess with things. I know you’ve been in the same place.

Yesterday I went to bed early, but as I got up to pee, I noticed the full moon outside, and I went straight out of the house still wearing my pajamas. It’s only a few meters from my house down to the water, and I walked over the road and through the wet grass and sat down on the rocks. For some reason I knew this moment was essential, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It felt like something was shifting, right then and there.

I noticed two thoughts in particular… One was that this is the sort of thing that I haven’t done for years. With caring for a baby all alone and being very serious about it and not even really having the possibility to be very spontaneous, I haven’t done things like this. I haven’t gone out in the middle of the night just because I felt a sudden urge to do so. It’s like I’ve put a lid on parts of who I am. The other thought was that I really would like to share that moment with someone. I think I’m ready, Aja. I think I’m ready for a relationship again.

The full moon was shining quietly upon the calm water and I sort of knew that from now on, nothing would be the same, like it was trying whisper something to me.

You and I have been hurt more times than I can count. Dating sucks, it really does. But I sort of want to give it a second chance. Perhaps something good could come out of it for once? If it doesn’t, I’ll always have you. And you will always have me!

– Agathe

Illustration from here.

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2 thoughts on “I Went and Sat Down by the Sea

  1. What an thoughtful post, Agathe, about the nature of intuition. And a lovely response to a friend. I have not dated for a very long time (married) but I did not enjoy it particularly. Too many unknowns. People are all so fucked up (except the three of us, of course). 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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