I hate that thing everyone says. That whole “it’ll happen when you least expect it”. Because it’s the worst quote ever and someone always tells you that when you’re feeling completely miserable. And let’s be frank: that is the LAST thing anyone wants to hear. I feel much more comforted by the person who just recognizes my need to be sad and wallow a bit, more so than the person who is so quick to give a pep talk. When we’re disappointed or sad, pep talks usually go in one ear and straight out the other (I also make a mental note that that person is a bossypants). They’re much better received when the person actually seeks advice from a positive place. That’s what I like about our friendship. For the most part, we just let each other be and allow each other to be sad.
Phew, I got all tangent-y pretty quickly. As you know from our earlier conversation when I was flat ironing my hair while skyping with you (no task is private enough to not talk to Agathe), I went on a date out of the blue today. Usually when a guy asks me out quickly I’m immediately suspicious. But we got along so well that it felt right. I threw caution in the wind and said, “Fine, we can have a late lunch.” Well a late loooong lunch, a walk around town, a ride into DC, and a few hours of more conversation, I was looking at my watch saying “Oh my goodness, I’ve got to get home!”
Probably the longest first date I’ve ever been on. But it just felt really nice. It felt comfortable very quickly. I could go on about his attributes but I’ll say this: he’s really kind. Which counts for a great deal, in my books. After years of dating failure, I find myself not putting expectations on anything. Which is why I probably didn’t seem very excited to you as I was applying my make up. The sad part is, I can’t figure out if this is me, not putting expectations on something or rather me being afraid to feel excited or happy about anything regarding romance. It’s been rough, readers.
I will tell you this though, this was the year I said “I’m focusing on me. I’m focusing on MY projects. MY mental well being. MY life. I will NOT under any circumstance allow myself to get worked up over romance. Because there’s a lot worst things than being alone and frankly I am tired of worrying about it. I sound like a broken record and I’m sick of listening to myself.”
Now let’s just see if I can stick to my word.
PS- Still having issues with hyperlinks but if you click on the image it should take you right there to the source!